Incomprehensible Press Release of the Week

This is the stuff nightmares are made of in marketing. How do you explain something that's not only complex, but also rather dry to an audience of non-techies, and expect to get it disseminated around the world, and drive people to your sales force and/or website?

I don't know either, and it's my job.

Apparently, the folks at HP also have no idea, because they've won the Incomprehensible Press Release of the Week award from the Wall Street Journal. An excerpt:

According to the press release, the “new solutions and services” will “help CIOs accelerate better business outcomes.” Want specifics? “The solutions and services include a platform that simplifies the management of information” and helps “enterprise customers manage business service demand and IT project portfolio decision making.” It goes on like that for another 650 words.

To be fair, we have our share of marketspeak too....Business Driven Development anyone? But it certainly doesn't hurt to run your press release by a couple of people to see if they have any clue what you're talking about before sending it out. I know I will in the future.

If you really want your brain to hurt, here's the full text of the release.